Archive for the ‘Computer Stupidities’ Category

Es realmente sorprendente como a estas alturas me llega todavia correo de este tipo:

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MUY URGENTE

Dile a todos los contactos de tu lista, que no acepten al contacto pete_ivan[at]hotmail.com ni un video de Bush y otro de Obama, es un hacker,formatea tu computadora y la de tus contactos y te quita la contraseña en Hotmail..

‘OJO’, si tus contactos lo aceptan,  tú también lo agarrarás, así que mándalo urgentemente a todos; éste es un mensaje de importancia, simplemente copia y pega.

URGENTISIMOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!

POR FAVOR, HAZ CIRCULAR ESTE AVISO A TUS AMISTADES, FAMILIA, CONTACTOS !!!

En los próximos días, debes estar atento: No abras ningún mensaje con un archivo anexo llamado:

Invitación…

independientemente de quien te lo envíe.

Es un virus que abre una antorcha olímpica que quema todo el disco duro C de la computadora.

Este virus vendrá de una persona conocida que te
tenia en su lista de direcciones.

Es por eso que debes enviar este mensaje a todos tus contactos ..

Es preferible recibir 25 veces este correo que recibir el virus y abrirlo. Si recibes el mensaje llamado: Invitación , aunque sea enviado por un amigo, no lo abras y apaga tu maquina inmediatamente .

Es el peor virus anunciado por CNN.  Un nuevo virus ha sido descubierto recientemente que ha sido clasificado por Microsoft como el virus mas destructivo que haya existido .

Este virus fue descubierto ayer por la tarde por Mc Afee.. Y no hay arreglo aun para esta clase de virus.

Este virus destruye simplemente el Sector Zero del Disco Duro, donde la información vital de su función es guardada.

ENVIA ESTE E-MAIL A QUIENES CONOZCAS.. COPIA ESTE CORREO A UNO NUEVO Y MANDALO A TODOS TUS AMIGOS.

RECUERDA:
SI LO ENVIAS A ELLOS, NOS BENEFICIAS A TODOS.
URGENTISIMOOO

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• Tech Support: “How may I help you?”
• Customer: “I was workin’ on this here computer an’ it dun sum’er’other, now it doesn’t work.”
• Tech Support: “Okay so what’s happening now?”
• Customer: “Nothin’ it’s just sittin’ all black!”
• Tech Support: “All right, go ahead and press the power button and hold it down for about ten seconds.”
• Customer: “Sure. … Now what?”
• Tech Support: “Let go of the power button and press it again like you’re turning it on.”
• Customer: “Holy CRAP! It’s workin’ now!”

I was once using the generic telnet program on the library computers to check my mail on UTM (the local university) with Pine. The computer-inept librarian walked up behind me.

• Her: (shrieking) “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”
• Me: “I’m checking my email–”
• Her: “It looks like you’re breaking into the computer!!”
• Me: “No really — I’m checking my mail.”
• Her: “But that’s not HOTMAIL!!”
• Me: “I don’t use hotmail. I use–”
• Her: “But EVERYONE uses HOTMAIL!!”
• Me: “No, my account goes through UTM. My email account ends with–”
• Her: “But that’s not what MYYY UTM looks like!!” (apparently referring to the UTM web page)
• Me: “Yes, I’m telnetting. It’s another way of accessing–”
• Her: “I think you better shut that off. You’re breaking into the computer.”
• Me: “But I–”
• Her: “Turn it off. I don’t believe that ‘checking mail’ story.”

• Customer: “I would like to place an order.”
• Tech Support: “Unfortunately, we are unable to take orders over the phone. All orders must be placed on our web site.”
• Customer: “Web site?”
• Tech Support: “You need access to a computer that’s connected to the Internet in order to visit our Internet site and place an order.”
• Customer: “Where is the computer?”
• Tech Support: “…”

• Tech Support: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
• Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

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Email from a customer:

I’ve bought a stolen CDD3610 which didn’t come with any software or cables. Could you please send that to me? I presume I do have the full 12 months warranty?

• Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could fix my laptop. It’s under warranty.”
• Tech Support: “What seems to be the trouble with it?”
• Customer: “My wife got mad and threw it in the pool.”

• A Friend: “There’s an icon on my desktop that won’t go away.”
• Me: “Did you click on the icon once and hit ‘delete’?”
• A Friend: “I haven’t tried that yet.”

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• Customer: “Hi, my manager’s computer isn’t working, and she asked me to call you.”
• Tech Support: “Ok, what’s happening? Is there an error message?”
• Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. She just said it wasn’t working. Can you fix it?”

A user trying to install new software:

• Customer: “I’m having a problem here. Do I put the serial number in the box that says ’serial number,’ or do I put it in the box that says ‘company’?”

• Tech Support: “What type of computer do you have?”
• Customer: “A white one.”

• Customer: “I think I’ve broken my computer! There’s a message across the screen that says: ‘It is now safe to turn off your PC.’ WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!”